Gentleman, Part 1

Response to Stephen Scully's 'Essay Upon the Nature of Amorous Relationships, Love, and Sexuality'.

Our friend, the 'Thinking Skull' begins on the right foot in his essay saying that love is essentially self-giving, however, he does go wrong in a few main assumptions in his opening paragraph. First, he assumes that any relationships are generally bases on appearance now-a-days. While emphasis is certainly placed on appearance, I hardly believe it to be the only motivating factor behind modern relationships. Furthermore, it is not entirely evil that relationships be partially based on the physical and, therefore, visual attraction one individual has for another member of the opposite gender. This is where our thinker goes off the deep end as he rails against caring about what your girlfriend/boyfriend looks like. Certainly if one does not find his partner attractive it will surely hinder the full creation of a solid relationship. Hence, while it is true that placing the physical before all else is certainly an abuse, it does not follow that having attractiveness have a place at all is inherently evil.

The Skull then moves to attack saying that physical attractiveness only lasts so long. While this is true, this is not a solid reason to completely overlook physical attractiveness. I don't know about you, but I for one do not think I could share in what the Skull calls "the ultimate expression of love" with a girl that looks like an ape or a guy or whatnot no matter how charming her personality was. So where the Skull condemns physical attraction in 'gentlemanly conduct' I believe it simply should be given its proper place.

Thinking along as he would say he does best, the Skull continues to write about how a gentleman out to defend his girlfriend and let her choose to do as she wishes from there, even if it is despite his wishes. This is far too broad a statement. If this were the case, then the man would simply be his girlfriend's dog, there to defend her when she needs it and look the other way when she does something out of keeping with his will. This is not the case. What is a far more honorable and useful way for both members of the contract to resolve differences of opinion is to talk it out. This way, both parties get their say and both end up happy. As to defending girlfriend, as the Skull says, this is basic and goes without saying.

Conclusively, gentlemen should follow a gentleman's code which basically gives full respect to his girlfriend without castrating himself. Sex ought not be the goal of a relationship, but ought to be a factor amongst many other, more important, factors.